The Best Check-In Questions to Ask New Parents on Their Return to Work

When employees come back from parental leave, they’re stepping into a world that feels both familiar and entirely different. A new identity, shifting priorities, and an emotional landscape that few fully understand.

Yet too often, returning parents are greeted with a simple, “Welcome back!” followed by a brief update on projects, then it’s back to business as usual.

This routine check-in misses a vital opportunity to offer more than just a logistical handover. Because behind every return is a question that rarely gets voiced:

“Is it safe to be honest about how I really am?”

Why This Moment Matters More Than We Realise

The return to work after having a child isn’t just about shifting schedules it can be a profound identity shift. People who once identified themselves primarily as professionals now navigate new terrain: sleep deprivation, physical recovery, shifting routines, and a changed approach to what matters most.

When organisations fail to acknowledge this shift, the consequences can be serious, especially for women. According to a recent survey by Careers After Babies, 85% of new mothers leave the full time workforce within 3 years of having their first child. Not because they want to step away from work, but because the environment doesn’t support their dual roles 

Why Psychological Safety is the Foundation

At the heart of supporting returning parents is psychological safety. The belief that you can speak honestly without fear of judgment or penalty.

Imagine the energy it takes to “perform” perfectly, masking the exhaustion, hiding the doubts, faking that everything is fine. For someone newly back from leave, this performative effort adds mental strain on top of their regular workload.

Without a safe space to let all of that show, stress compounds.

But when organisations invite authenticity and say, “Feel free to show up as your full, messy, real self” trust deepens. Engagement rises. Burnout likelihood drops. And employees stay.

Practical Check-In Questions That Build Trust

Here are the kinds of questions that move beyond cursory chat and foster genuine dialogue, trust, and understanding:

 Before They Return

• How are you feeling about coming back to work?

• Is there anything you’re especially looking forward to, or worried about?

• What support would feel helpful in the first few weeks?

• Are there any logistical considerations we should know (e.g., childcare, commute, flexibility)?

  
  

 In the First Week

• How has your first week been?

• What’s been energising, and what’s been draining?

• Is the pace feeling manageable?

• Are there any surprises or uncertainties?

  
  

Ongoing (3–6 Months)

• How are you finding the balance between work and home life?

• Has anything shifted in how you want to work, or what you value at work?

• Do you feel you have enough time to reflect, plan, and feel in control of your role?

• Are there areas where you’d like more flexibility, challenge, or support?

  
  

These questions encourage openness, reflection, and collaboration. Most importantly, they say:

“We see you as a full person and we’re here to listen.”

The Impact on Business 

1. Reduced Burnout and Turnover: When returning parents feel safe enough to speak up, they’re less likely to hide overwhelm until they burn out. That helps prevent quiet discouragement or sudden departures.

2. Enhanced Engagement and Performance: People who can bring their whole selves to work, not just their ‘professional self’, are more focused, creative, and committed. 

3. Cost Savings and Talent Retention: Replacing an experienced employee can cost 6–9 months’ salary. By investing in intentional check-ins and psychological safety, organisations retain more senior talent and save significantly in recruitment, onboarding, and lost productivity.

4. Culture That Attracts: Creating an environment that genuinely supports new parents sends a message: “We care about people, not just output.” That draws high-potential talent and elevates your employer brand.

Why Pretending is Risky

There’s an invisible cost to requiring people to “pretend” everything is fine. That invisible energy, hiding the anxiety, glossing over the hard bits, and delaying help adds up fast. It fuels burnout, increases mental fatigue, and builds frustration that can eventually lead people to seek a different environment.

But when organisations say, “It’s okay to not have it all figured out,” they remove that hidden energy tax. People don’t have to perform, they feel permitted to ask for help, recalibrate, and reintegrate effectively.

How Leaders Can Take Meaningful Action

You don’t need to be a coach to create a psychologically safe transition. Here are practical steps you can implement immediately:

1. Be Present, Not Just Procedural: During check-ins, show up fully, no distractions, screens down. Show that your time and attention are theirs.

2. Normalise Emotion: Feelings like overwhelm, guilt, joy, exhaustion, they’re all valid. Make it clear that emotional honesty is welcome, not weak or inappropriate.

3. Ask and Then Listen: Every returning parent’s situation is unique. Ask first, then listen. Don’t assume their needs are identical to others.

4. Check In Frequently: One catch-up isn’t enough. Schedule regular touchpoints over the first 3–6 months to maintain trust and alignment.

5. Share Support Options: Don’t leave people guessing. Be explicit about the coaching, flexible hours, phased return, or peer groups available. Offer to help them access these proactively.

The Bottom Line

Supporting returning parents is not a “nice-to-have.” It’s a strategic priority. Because when leaders create emotionally safe environments. When they ask the right questions, and listen, they’re building a culture that increases engagement, reduces burnout, and retains talent.

If you’re ready to build that supportive culture: 

👉 I offer free 30-minute consultation calls. Let’s explore what coaching support could look like in your organisation. 

📥 Or download the Essential Maternity Return Checklist , a clear and practical guide for managers navigating this transition.