The ONE question self-employed mums need to ask
For those of you who saw my first video of the year, or read my last blog – you’ll notice that I’m thinking a lot about …why.
Mainly because that question is everywhere at the moment! You can’t avoid it. And also, because it helps me personally when I have dips in motivation or find myself worrying about the little things. Asking myself why, reminding myself why I chose to run my own business, helps me to focus on what’s important and ignore the ‘noise’ from elsewhere.
Let me explain. In fact, no. I’ll let Simon Sinek explain. He’s the guy who posted a video on ‘The Millennial Question’ and broke the internet by asking us to ‘find our why’.
“The WHY is the purpose, cause, or belief that drives every organization and every person's individual career.
Once you understand your WHY, you’ll be able to clearly articulate what makes you feel fulfilled and to better understand what drives your behavior when you’re at your natural best.
When you can do that, you’ll have a point of reference for everything you do going forward.
You’ll be able to make more intentional choices for your business, your career and your life.
You’ll be able to inspire others to buy from you, work with you and join your cause. Never again should you have to play the lottery and act on gut decisions that are made for reasons you don’t really understand.
From now on, you can work with purpose, on purpose. From now on, you can start with WHY.”
And there’s a science behind it. It’s all to do with your limbic brain and your neocortex. Simon Sinek explains it all here.
When clients come to me and express their worries about mounting bills, the pressure to succeed, mum guilt and self-doubt, I ask them to think about their personal measure of success. Is it purely about wealth, power or respect? Or is it about helping others, working around your family or the feeling of satisfaction your business gives you - lighting you up inside and giving you energy and happiness.
What does success look like to you? Once you have a hold on that, it’s easier to panic less about the ‘noise’ as I call it, which comes from the little things around you and inside of you – comparing yourself to others, telling yourself what you should be earning or how you should behave.
And that’s not to trivialise the need to pay your mortgage. We all know that feeling of dread when a brown envelope hits the door mat on the same week your child has been off sick from school and you’ve lost three days work! But being able to handle that feeling in a better way is such an incredibly powerful tool.
Whether you’ve already started your own business, or you’re thinking about it, I’d like you to take a moment, grab a pen and paper (yep, right now) and ask yourself these questions:
1. What do you really want to accomplish, do more of or do less? Now the important bit is to write down why next to each goal.
2. Was it a struggle to get where you are today? Now write down what you have overcome to get here.
3. Are you spending your days doing something you’re passionate about? If the answer is no, write down what your passions are – it doesn’t have to relate to work.
4. Have you been thanked, praised or asked for advice recently? Write down how that made you feel.
5. What do you stand for – are you working with people who share your core values?
Our lives are filled with expectation placed upon us by others. We are told we need to be a present mum who home cooks every meal, but also have a successful career. We’re encouraged to compete with strangers on Instagram and strive to be a superhuman. If you can start regularly asking yourself what’s important you, and drive your focus to your own expectations, you’ll start to feel and see life from a completely different perspective.
This is not an easy thing to do. In fact, many people go through life without ever questioning why. I’d love to help you. You can book a free 20 minute taster session with me here where we can discover your why.